


The Only Gift I Need

by FrivolousWriter



Series: Quarantine Blues [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Girl Penis Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Hermaphrodites, Regina is a big softie, Swan Queen Advent Calendar 2020 (Once Upon a Time)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27930580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrivolousWriter/pseuds/FrivolousWriter
Summary: Killian proposes to Emma but she says no and no one on either side of their family knows where she is…We'll… Almost everyone.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Series: Quarantine Blues [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033584
Comments: 8
Kudos: 158
Collections: Swan Queen Advent Calendar Collection 2





	The Only Gift I Need

After glancing at the rearview mirror several times to make sure no one was following her, Regina let out a huge sigh of relief.

It was hell at the family dinner a week earlier when one Emma Swan didn’t show up. That’s when they all found out that Emma hasn't been around since the night her adoptive brother, Killian, proposed and she declined. Emma and Killian had been together since junior year in college so it wasn't that surprising that Killian wanted to tie the knot after almost four years of being together.

Unfortunately for him, Emma wasn't on the same page as him.

Their relationship wasn't perfect. It has its ups and downs like any other relationships. But there were times where they will see Emma sporting a nasty bruise on her cheek that she desperately tried to hide using a concealer. It was no secret that Killian has anger management issues but most people around them always turn a blind eye, even her own parents, whenever they see Emma has a bruise on her face or she has a limp in her step after an argument.

But Regina sees it all, and it’s hurting her straight to the bone.

She’s been in love with the remarkable blonde since high school, she was in junior year whilst Emma was a sophomore, but she kept those feelings to herself because she’s afraid of what Emma's reaction might be when she finds out about Regina’s not-so-little secret. Her parents, mostly her mother, were adamant to keep that part of Regina hidden because she’s afraid of what people may think, especially their close family friends and business partners. So Regina kept her distance, even to Emma, even though they call themselves friends because there were certain times where they found company with each other. But those instances were very few and far in between and they only talked with each other when there were certain events or gatherings where their respective families were invited. And most of the time when they’re at each other’s company they just bask in the comfortable silence. So no matter how hard it is for her to see Emma with someone else, she just settles in those small moments where she can have Emma all by herself.

Just like that time a week after Emma’s birthday almost two months ago.

_ After a long drive from the city, Regina stretched her aching muscles once she got out from her car, but the worry that settled deep in her gut never went away. It’s been a long drive from New York and she barely stopped for food or gas because she always made sure everything was settled and ready for the long drive. _

_ It was rare for her to have these little out of town trips just to get away from the hustle-bustle of the big city. Besides, no one will miss her so it’s no big deal for her to go. Well, aside from her half-sister Zelena. Even though they don’t get along much, she stood by Regina’s side whenever their mother was on a rampage. She’s also the one who helped Regina buy this place in a small hidden seaside town called Storybrooke that’s just a few miles away from Portland; a hideaway place where Regina can just be herself when life in the big city was becoming too much to bear. Zelena also suggested changing her personal details when she purchased a house in the small town without blinking so their mother wouldn't know about it. Their mother was a total control freak and most of the time it was frightening because it seems she knows what her daughters’ whereabouts are no matter how much they tried to hide it. So whenever Regina’s in town, she’s Roni Miller, and it gives her some sense of freedom because no one knows her. That in this town, she’s not Cora Mills’ daughter. In this town, she’s just a simple woman escaping from the loud noise of the city. _

_ With a deep sigh, Regina gathered her small bag from the backseat. She doesn't bring that much stuff because she already has a spare in her house, just a few toiletries that she’ll need. Searching for her keys, she maneuvered towards the white house that felt pretty much her home rather than the one she grew up with. Although she can see a faint light coming from the living room, she’s pretty much sure that the person inside her house is probably asleep now that it’s been a few minutes past midnight. Carefully swinging the door open, she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a lone figure standing by the doorway of her living room clad in a cotton robe to keep herself warm from the slightest chill in the air, her blonde curls in a messy bun, the faint glow of light coming from the inside creating a beautiful halo around the woman. Regina had never seen anything more beautiful in her life. _

_ “Emma,” she rasped out. Noticing how raspy her voice was, she cleared her throat. “Why are you still up? You should be asleep.” _

_ “I was waiting for you,” the blonde said shyly. _

_ Regina frowned at that as she closed the door, making sure it was locked, and climbed up the foyer steps to get close to the woman. “Why? Is there something wrong? You didn't like the room? You can choose another—” _

_ “No. No, it’s not that,” Emma cut her off softly. “I’m just not used to sleeping over someone else’s house, is all,” she said with a small shrug. _

_ Regina stared at her for a moment before closing the remaining distance between them and gently pulled the woman against her front, her right hand resting against the small of her back whilst the other one rested at the back of her neck. She breathed in the woman’s scent as she rested her chin against Emma’s temple, her being slightly taller than the woman because of her heels. When she felt Emma relaxed into her embrace as she wound her arms around Regina’s waist, she couldn't help but pull her closer until there’s no space between them. _

_ These touches between them are just new but it feels like they’ve been doing this for a long time because of how perfect they fit, of how they somehow knew they needed each other’s touch or embrace when they needed it most. _

_ Just like tonight. _

_ “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, her blunt nails gently scraping against the blonde’s scalp as she ran her fingers through Emma's hair. _

_ She felt Emma shook her head where she tucked her face against the crook of Regina’s neck. “Not tonight, please.” _

_ Regina can only sigh when she hears the slight hitch in her voice. Whatever Killian did to make Emma call her to ask for help must be that bad. Just recently they found out that Killian has been drowning himself in rum whenever there’s an available bottle around, making him more aggressive and had no control of his temper. And, as per usual, their mother did her very best to hide that side of his favorite son; even contacting the very best rehabilitation center with the best and most recommended doctors around to help his growing addiction to alcohol and to manage his temper issues. Hopefully that will distract their mother from Regina even though she’s certain Cora doesn't know Emma has been contacting Regina whenever there’s an issue between her and Killian. _

_ At least Emma has Regina to run to, because the brunette is certain Emma’s very own parents don't care very much about their daughter’s feelings. Even though she’s the eldest, Mary Margaret and David Swan only care for their other child, Evan. And Regina is also certain they are the reason Emma went with Killian in the first place, pressuring her into being a relationship with him because it will look good not just between their families but for their company as well. Mills Corp. and Swan International have been business partners for years now and Regina must say the partnership really did well, so they decided bringing Emma and Killian together will indeed not just cement the relationship between the two families, it will also make their companies indestructible together. _

_ A typical business world story cliché that makes Regina sick. _

_ “Can I stay with you tonight?” Emma shyly asked. _

_ Regina’s breath slightly hitched at that, her heart starting to beat erratically. That would be a dream come true if you ask her. Sleeping with Emma by her side, holding her close as they slept through the night, and waking up the next morning with the most beautiful woman here eyes had laid upon. She had always wanted that. But Emma’s currently in a vulnerable state and she didn't want to take advantage of her. _

_ Besides, she still doesn't know about Regina’s well-kept secret. She doesn't want to hear Emma scream in fright, or worse, look at her with disgust, when she felt Regina’s morning wood. _

_ That will absolutely break her. _

_ Regina let out a deep sigh as she slightly pulled away until she’s looking straight in the woman’s forest green eyes. “Emma, I don’t think—” _

_ “Please,” she whispered, her lower lip slightly quivering whilst repressing her tears. “I just don’t want to be alone tonight.” _

_ And how can Regina say no to that? God, she’s really whipped when it comes to this woman. That tear-filled eyes is surely going to be her downfall. _

_ “Alright,” she agreed. The answering wide dimpled smile almost made her knees buckle and caused her heart to skip a beat. _

_ Releasing the woman from their embrace, Regina grasped the woman’s hand and led the way up the spiral steps to the second floor until they reached the master’s bedroom. Closing the door, Regina dropped her bag by the closet door and led Emma to her king-sized bed. _

_ “Get in,” she softly said as she pulled the covers. “I’ll be with you in a moment. I’ll just go freshen up.” _

_ After hearing a soft “okay” from Emma Regina went to her walk-in closet to gather some essentials and her comfortable sleepwear then headed straight to the en suite bathroom. Once she’s done she takes a couple of deep breaths before exiting the bathroom. Once she’s back in the bedroom, she sees Emma lying comfortably on the right side of the bed. With a soft smile, Regina headed to her side of the bed and went under the covers. Once she’s settled, she was a little surprised to find herself armful of Emma as the blonde made herself comfortably snuggled against Regina’s side. _

_ “Thank you,” Emma whispered softly then laid a gentle kiss against Regina’s collarbone that made the brunette’s breath hitch. _

_ “Y-you’re welcome,” she stuttered, but still she pulled the blonde close then dropped a soft kiss on her forehead. _

Something changed between them that night and the two of them knew it. And when they woke up the next morning (Regina made sure there was a pillow between them to hide her growing morning wood from the blonde) any sense of awkwardness she was expecting was nonexistent. That weekend in her house in that small town was the happiest Regina had been. Some of the citizens there even assume that Emma is her girlfriend when they aimlessly wandered around town one sunny day. Regina tried to tell them they are not together but Emma cut her off and said thank you to the couple before pulling Regina away.

She must say, Regina went all giddy inside when Emma let people think they’re together. Oh how she wished it was actually true. Even though she felt guilty for the slightest moment, she cherished the fantasy where Emma was actually hers; that in that small town they’re really together.

But that fantasy has to end at some point. She thought, once they get back to the city, everything will be back to the things it once were; Emma will be back with Killian and Regina was alone once again.

But two days after their weekend getaway, Regina was surprised when Emma dropped by her office with takeout lunch from Smith & Wollensky. But a big smile took over her face after the initial shock and invited the blonde in no matter how extremely busy she was that day. She’s willing to set her heavy workload aside if it means she can have this little time with Emma.

Regina knows she’s being selfish. The woman’s in a relationship with his adoptive brother, for Pete’s sake! But Regina’s willing to take what she can get. And if these little moments with Emma are all there is for her, she’s going to settle for that.

But Regina couldn't stop the sliver of hope she felt when Killian announced (read this: whined) that Emma had said no to his marriage proposal a week ago, packed all of her belongings from Killian’s apartment, and just left, when they all gathered for their usual second Friday of the month scheduled family dinner, but this time it included the clearly ashamed and disappointed Swans. She’s pretty sure he had all of it planned out and she wouldn't be surprised if she found out their mother helped him with it. For some reason Cora really liked Emma. She’s still the same cold-hearted, controlling woman Regina knows but it seems she has a soft spot for the beautiful blonde.

No one has seen even the blonde’s shadow since she said no to Killian’s proposal and even her own parents don't know where Emma could be. But Regina had seen Zelena’s knowing look towards and she’s certain her red-headed half-sister has an idea—knows, rather—where Emma could be. She had once caught Emma and Regina having their usual lunch schedule in the brunette’s office when suddenly Zelena barged in to tell Regina something. Nothing was exchanged between the three of them but Zelena only gave Regina a knowing smirk and a playful wink before leaving the brunette’s office. They didn't talk about what Zelena saw in her office, much to her relief because even Regina doesn't have any idea what those lunches in her office meant, she knows she has Zelena’s support. If she doesn't, the redhead should've told their mother already.

Regina can only sigh as she focuses on the road. She still has a couple more hours before she arrives in Storybrooke. She’s barely halfway towards Boston. It’s going to be a long night on the road if she decided to keep on driving. But she’ll need to stop at some point at least to rest. She had some last-minute work in the office that’s why she’s driving this late on Christmas Eve.

She just hopes she’s right where Emma might be this entire time.

* * *

It was a few minutes past 5am when Regina parked her car in the driveway. Her body is tired from the long drive and her eyes are starting to droop and no amount of caffeine is going to help her keep her eyes open for another minute. But she shook her head to shake the sleepiness away. As she climbed out of the car with a bag full of presents her eyes widened and her mouth hung open in shock when she took in the Christmas decorations that adorned her house. She wasn't really expecting this since she didn't hire anyone to decorate her house. But it only confirmed one thing:

Emma’s been in Regina’s house in Storybrooke all along.

Heart suddenly bursting with happiness and excitement, Regina quickly marched up to the front door. Opening the door, brown eyes widened again when she took in the decorations; there’s even a mistletoe hanging up on every door that made her smile widely. Regina couldn't help the giggle from coming out as she took in the decorations. It was simply beautiful.

“Regina?”

Looking up, Regina found Emma walking down the stairs as she adorably rubbed her eyes, her hair still messy from sleep, and was wearing one of Regina’s cashmere sweaters that’s keeping her warm from the cold winter air.

“Emma,” she whispered, mesmerized, as she watched the woman of her dreams climb slowly down the stairs. Dropping her bag and keys by the foyer table, she met Emma at the end of the stairs and abruptly pulled the woman into her arms and slowly spun them around. “I knew you’d be here,” she almost sobbed against the blonde’s neck.

Emma tightened her grip around Regina’s neck then sighed. “There’s no place I’d rather be.”

Regina hugged the woman tightly one last time before putting her down, but she kept her hand around slim waist with their foreheads touching. “You said no,” she stated softly.

“I couldn't say yes,” Emma countered with a sigh. “I don’t want to say yes,” she added, now more firmly. “My relationship with him was getting too much for me to handle; his alcohol abuse, the gambling, his temper issues. I just… I don’t want to be his verbal and literal punching bag anymore,” she sobbed, her grip on Regina’s coat so tight Regina’s worried Emma’s going to rip it apart.

“Oh, Emma…”

“I’m just tired, Regina. So, so tired. I’m so tired of pleasing him, tired of pleasing my family just so I can show them that I’m capable of making them proud, that I am at least good enough. And most of all, I am so tired of telling myself that what I have is enough, that that’s all I am going to get; that what my heart wants doesn't matter. I’m tired of lying to myself, Regina. I don’t think I will be able to make it through if I said yes to him.”

All Regina could do was pull the woman closer as she cried her heart out against her chest, her own heart aching for the woman.

“That’s why I left,” Emma continued once her tears and sobs subsided. “I don't care anymore if my parents believe I’m more of a disappointment now. Because no matter what I do, I will always be a disappointment to them.” She lifts her head up so she can look Regina in the eye. Regina instinctively reached up to wipe some errant tears away with the pad of her thumb. “I’m sorry about Killian. I know what happened will bring a huge conflict between our families but—”

“You don’t have to apologize for that,” Regina softly cut her off. “You did it because you know the relationship between you and Killian is not healthy. You only did what’s best for you.”

“But do you think it’s selfish of me to just leave him when he needed someone in his worst days?”

Regina only shook her head. “He has Mother to help him with that. To be honest he has a lot of professional people ready to help him.” She softly caressed her smooth cheek. “You already did so much for him, Emma. And what did he do? He only took you for granted.” Regina let out a disappointed sigh. “It hurts me to see you with him and at the same time I wanted to kill him because all he did was take advantage of you. I don’t want that for you, Emma.”

“R-Regina…”

Regina shook her head again then pressed the tip of her index finger on thin pink lips to stop her from talking. If she didn't let this out now, she won’t be able to do it ever. “If ever, I was the selfish one because I know for a fact that you’re with him but still I wanted myself to get close to you. That even for a small amount of time, I can stay in the fantasy where you’re mine. That I have you all to myself.” She reluctantly removed her finger from pink lips then softly brushed the pad of her thumb against the smooth pink-tinged cheek. “Right now I still can’t believe you're here. That this is just another one of my fantasies.” Regina let her hand travel from her cheek up until she’s cupping Emma’s nape then gently pulled her close until their foreheads touch, her eyes slowly closing at the contact. “That this is just another impossible dream,” she added softly.

She felt and heard Emma sighed followed by hands gently cupping her cheeks. “I’m here,” Emma whispered reverently. “I am here and this is real, Regina. You don’t have to live in a fantasy anymore.”

Regina’s breath hitched at that, causing her to break the contact so she could look at the woman’s eyes. “Does that m-mean…”

“It has always been you, Regina,” Emma carried on. “Even before Killian came along, it has always been you. I’m just much too cowardly and shy to even approach you, let alone speak with you. I was certain that you wouldn't even notice I existed so I kept my distance.” She smiled shyly, a beautiful pink hue coloring her cheeks. “But then, you sat with me during lunchtime back in high school, at the greenhouse.”

Regina smiled at the memory. It was the very first time Regina had approached Emma without her mother’s scrutiny. They sat together on certain company or family events because they had to, not because they wanted to, but they are not under speaking terms. And the tension around them was so heavy that neither of them attempted to even greet each other politely. Regina changed that when she saw Emma walking towards the greenhouse a little off the campus grounds to eat lunch alone. Emma may come from a family with money, but that didn't stop some bullies to pick on her.

She was glad she had followed Emma there. If she hadn't, they wouldn't have this sort of friendship over the years.

And now, it seems, her hidden feelings for this beautiful blonde was not one-sided after all.

“Of course I know you existed,” Regina muttered. “I just wasn't brave enough to at least acknowledge you.” She chuckled mirthlessly. “You don’t know how many times I attempted to speak with you. But Mother…” She huffed with a roll of her eyes that made the blonde grin. “You know how difficult she is.”

Emma nodded in agreement. “She’s a real piece of work.”

“But she likes you,” Regina mused.

“And I wonder why,” Emma said slyly.

Regina poked the woman’s cheek playfully. “Don’t be like that. You’re lucky you belong on my mother’s list of people she genuinely likes.” She gently pinched the tip of her nose with a fond smile. “And who wouldn't be.”

Green eyes rolled at that. “My mother for one.”

“Ahh.” She totally forgot that one. “Another real piece of work.”

Emma only snorted followed by a small laugh that made Regina laugh along. The heavy tension in the air that they didn't notice was suddenly lifted.

“You need to rest,” Emma said suddenly as their laughs died down. “I know you had a long trip.”

Regina can only hum as her shoulder slightly sags. The excitement of finding out that Emma has been in her house all along slowly winding down. But the happiness in her heart was still there, especially having the blonde in her arms like these. “That’s probably a good idea.” She kissed her quickly on her forehead before breaking their embrace. “Let’s open some gifts first,” she said with a wide grin.

Still holding Emma’s hand, she went to the foyer table to gather the bag with presents, but not before removing her coat and heels. She can’t help feel elated when Emma helped her out of her coat then put them on the coat closet along with her shoes as if she’s been doing that for Regina for a long time. Tired and sleepiness pushed aside once more, with her bag on her left hand and her right hand gently clasped with Emma’s, she led them both towards the den only to stop by the entranceway when she saw a beautifully decorated tree by the fireplace.

“Emma,” she gasped in astonishment as she glanced back at the woman who was blushing furiously. There were also a couple of presents under the tree. “This is beautiful.”

Emma bashfully shrugged her shoulders. “I had nothing else to do when I got here. So I did some decorating.” She bit her lower lip between her teeth in worry. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t,” Regina immediately placated the woman. “I was surprised by it all. Good surprise.” She gently dropped the bag by her feet to caress the woman’s cheek. “You didn't have to.”

Emma only shrugged again but leaned in to her touch. “I wanted to. It’s not Christmas without Christmas decorations so…” she shyly waved her hand towards the den then the foyer.

Regina smiled lovingly at the woman then glanced up, noticing the mistletoe hanging above them, then looked down again only to see the same deep blush on the woman’s face. She has to stop herself from breathing in so loudly as her eyes caught Emma biting her lower lip again. God, she really wanted to kiss that lips.

“May I?” she asked after a small hesitant second, her eyes still glued on the woman’s lips.

“Please,” Emma breathed out.

Regina didn’t hesitate this time. Slowly leaning in, her plump lips meet soft pink ones in the most gentle kiss Regina has ever experienced. It was a simple meeting of lips but it almost took her breath away. And, as if by instinct, Emma slowly opened her own to capture Regina’s lower lip, slightly nipping it with her own that made Regina moan unexpectedly.

“Emma,” she gasped out as Emma quickly wrapped her around Regina’s neck, making them both stumble backward until Emma’s back met the doorframe.

“I’ve always wanted to do that since that day at the greenhouse,” Emma said breathlessly, staring up at Regina with her eyes slowly dilating.

Regina could only groan as she wrapped her own arms around the blonde’s waist, attempting to pull her closer, only to stop when she felt the familiar tightening between her legs. Abruptly letting the woman go, Regina turned her back towards Emma and took long deep breaths to calm herself. Everything was going good with Emma; she didn't want the thing between her legs to snatch the very thing she wanted, needed, in her life that quickly. Not now. Not yet.

“R-Regina..?”

Sensing the shock and worry on the woman’s voice, Regina immediately went back to Emma and gently cupped her cheeks before delivering a small lingering kiss on the woman’s lips. “It’s not that. I don’t regret kissing you, I promise,” she said then took a couple of steps back. She can still feel the tightness between her legs and she’s nervous, anxious, worried, afraid, and aroused that she’s afraid she’ll do something stupid if she's within Emma’s personal space no matter how hard she wanted to have the blonde in her arms and never let her go.

“Is there something wrong?” Emma asked worriedly.

Regina gave her a small smile then nodded, leaning her side against the wall facing the den to hide her still present erection. “I’m fine, darling. I promise.”

Emma only stared at her for a couple of minutes as Regina composed herself, not noticing the realization that dawned on Emma’s face.

“Was that because of…?” Emma started, only to trail off then bowed her head down to hide the deep blush forming on her cheeks.

Regina frowned at that. “Because of what?” she asked, momentarily forgetting what she was desperately trying to hide.

Emma didn’t meet her eyes. In fact, she was looking down, her face suddenly turning bright red. When Regina followed where Emma was transfixed on looking, her dark eyes widened when she realized where Emma is currently looking. With the soft glow coming from the lights on the Christmas tree and the faint glow of morning light coming from the window, there’s no way for Regina to hide the redness of her neck and face as she alternates her stares at Emma then down herself.

_ Oh, my God! _

“E-Emma… I—” she tried to say, but Emma cut her off.

“I know,” the blonde said so softly as she wring her fingers.

Regina can only stare dumbfoundedly at her. She’s been careful. She always makes sure she’s careful, especially around Emma. “H-how?”

She can see Emma biting her lip so hard she’s worried that it’s going to bleed.

“That weekend we spent here… the second morning I woke up wrapped in your arms…” There’s that bright red blush on her face again. “I got curious why you put that pillow between us the first time. So I watched you that second time. And you rolled onto your back and just... Then… well…”

Regina felt the air leaving her lungs at Emma’s revelation.  _ Can someone or something please kill me now? _

Before Regina can even say anything she felt soft lips claiming her own, startling her, rooting her on the spot. It took her a couple of moments to gather herself before pulling the woman close and deepened the kiss.

Regina can feel her heart bursting with love as she held the woman of her dreams in her arms. As cliché as it is, for her, this is a dream come true. Emma already knows her secret, and she’s not running away, or even looks at her with disgust as she feared. This incredible and amazing woman accepts her wholeheartedly. Regina could not ask for more.

_ Fuck those presents, _ Regina said to herself with a sleepy grin after making love with Emma that morning.  _ I have the only gift I need, right here in my arms. _

This might just be the best Christmas ever. One that Regina will cherish forever.


End file.
